back to square one

On Saturday morning on my way to work I recieved a phone call that my little jinxy had been found dead in a neighbours garden. This is now the third cat we have lost in 3 years and appears to be another case of poisening.
Unfortunately this has been a major set back in my recovery from depression and I feel just as bad as I did several months ago.
Rest in peace my little angel

fancy vintage giveaway

The lovely Fancy Vintage is having a spondiferous giveaway! Get yourself over there to check out her beautiful photographs and being in for a chance of winning the cutest bundle ever!

wooowwwww

How frickin awsome is this!
I found this on a random flick through etsy and I just HAD to show this off to you all!

phew!

Hello all
I'm really sorry I never came back with those birthday photo's!
The past few weeks have been a pretty even mix of highs and lows and I just never got around to coming back here!

Well I have thought of a way to try and help vent my daily frustrations as part of a way to get control of my depression, in the form of another blog entitled bitchi-ness.
I find little things annoy me every single day, and I don't always have an outlet, which has undoubtedly contributed to my reasonably recent sinicism.
I have also freshened up with a beautiful new blog layout courtesy of blogger candy! She has a range of gorgeous designs and they're all totally free :)
And as a final freshen up I am very pleased to announce that after a year of "normal" hair colour I have finally injected a little pinky goodness into my barnett!

It's not the best photo as it was taken at work with my phone hehe! I had to hold it infront of a mirror so I could make sure I was facing the camera in the right place!

Well for tonight this will be all I post, my fingers are pretty tired from my first rant! But when I finally get my days off next week I shall return!

Goodnight all you lovely ladies
xxxx Ness xxxx

oldness

Today I am officially 22! I shall post piccies of all of my new loveliness soon!! xxxx

a light at the end of the tunnel

Hello all :) today I am posting a progress update as I am on the road to life recovery.
It has been no secret that life has been pretty tough for the past year, with one string of bad luck after the other. My mood and general well being took a nose dive and I stopped taking pleasure in all of the things I usually enjoy.
This all progressed to a stage where I would be in floods of tears everyday for no reason at all and began to self harm.
Eventually after a string of arguments with Mr S and the realisation I hadn't been out with friends in over 8 months I decided to visit the doctors where I was diagnosed with serious chronic depression. I was referred into therapy and after a few weeks I reluctantly agreed to begin a course of anti depressents.
I am now 2 weeks in to my tablets and am pleased to announce that my mood is making a slow and steady recovery, and I am now in a position to begin to try and enjoy life again :) starting with getting my social life back on track!
I wanted to post today for a couple of reasons. Firstly because I've missed all of you lovely ladies, and secondly to note a couple of lessons I have learned since being diagnosed!
The main lesson is that depression is a real illness! This might sound silly but my view has always been that of my parents, depression is a state of mind which everyone is in control of, and can be dealt with on your own. This is the very reason it took me so long to see my GP. But the fact is that slipping in to depression is very real and very easy, so anyone who notices they are avoiding people and events consistently, is constantly being self critical and cant explain why they feel so angry/upset so much of the time visit your doctor.
The next lesson is that anti depressants are not something to be scared of. Like many people I'd only ever read side effects and horror stories about AD's. I refused my GP's first offer of AD's as I thought I'd be drugged out of my skull for the majority of time.
The truth is actually far from this. There are many types of AD available and my GP decided to prescribe a pill which slowly boosts my endorphines and makes me gradually feel more like a normal human! I haven't experienced any side effects and although the tablets haven't physically made me feel any different I have noticed my symptoms are gradually starting to improve.
The final lesson I've learnt is that I can overcome this :) and although it may take a while I know I can be strong!

oooooffftt

I feel really terrible about my birthday swap contributions so far due to very low funds and have recently been hit with yet another blow.
Unfortunately exactly one week after matty's bike was stolen, so was mine! Someone actually broke in to my garden and stole my beautiful vespa.
It was found by the police but unfortunately has been totally destroyed, every single part of it has either been pulled off and stolen or has been smashed to pieces.
This came exactly 4 days after I paid for it to go through it's MOT and brought brand new tyres and brake pads.
Unfortunately the insurance had just expired as I was going to start riding again last monday but will not get the chance to ever ride it again!
Because of this I am going to continue to put presents together, but they will have to be whatever I can afford! I had so many wonderful ideas for each and every one of you lovely ladies and am heartbroken that funds will not allow this.
I felt i needed to explain myself as I have not been satisfied with any of my gifts sent out so far, especially after seeing some of the lovely things people have been putting together! I am very very sorry!
Someday my cloud will have a silver lining!

Help!

Hello my lovelies!
Today I just need to ask a very quick favour from any of the ladies that are participating in the birthday swap!
I have managed to lose the file with everyone's blog addresses etc. So if anybody still has a copy I would really appreciate it if you could forward this to me :)

I hope you're all very well and enjoying 2011 so far! For me it is definately starting to get better :) and I ha with the exception of the theft of Matty's motorbike!
Some awful toerag took it straight off our driveway a couple of days ago and has caused us a nightmare of stress!
Fortunately the bike was found, filthy, drained of oil and needing a lot of repair. But it's back home none the less :)
Matt has also finally found a new job, and although it's very low pay and not many hours it is better than nothing :D

a healthy little idea

Hello all! This is going to be one of my flying visit posts so I can update on what has happened in the past month!
First of all I would like to share a tasty little treat with you, that from today I am going to try and have every day for a week for breakfast to try and aid my diet!
As you may have guessed by the picture this is indeed a smoothie recipe :D
This is actually my first ever smoothie as i HATE bananas!!!
All you need is.....
1 small hand full blueberries
1 small hand full grapes
1/2 hand full of porridge oats
4tbsp low fat strawberry yoghurt (more if you want it thicker!)
a splash of fruit juice (I used apple and blackcurrant)
1 small handfull frozen fruit (i used mixed summer berries)

Just pop all of you ingredients into a blender, or a jug if you are like me and only have a hand blender!
Whiz everything together until it's a nice yummy smoothie mix, adding more juice or yoghurt depending how thick you want it :)

I make myself about 3/4 a pint and it is super filling! I've always had breakfast in the morning but still find i'm hungry by 10.30am so hopefully this is a new healthy way to keep me feeling full till lunch time!



Secondly I just HAD to show you all this beautiful website if you didn't already know it! An angel at my table was first introduced to me by my colleague Helen. I'd mentioned that last year I spotted some gorgeous bird cage wall art in the background of an episode of ugly betty!

Since seeing them I knew I had to find them but spent months searching the web with no luck!

Finally Helen stumbled across the exact paintings and sent me the link :D The image shown is one of a set of 3 and the website is definately worth a look!



That's just about it for things to share at the moment :) although as of today we have finally sold our old vectra and the renault clio, meaning we can finally start spending some money on doing up the house! Yipee!

TTFN!

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Well my dear blogland friends, I'm afraid I am going to be saying goodbye for a while.
Unfortunately the past 6 months have shown me that i have few too many things to juggle, and posting on here has become more of a chore to try and keep on top of!
This isn't really a massive suprise as my lack of posting since starting full time work is evident!
So I shall be on hiatus for the next few months until my situation changes :) I will still pop by and post a little something when I have the time, and will still check out all of your lovely blogs :)
Thank you all for being so awsome :D

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