Saturday, 25 June 2011

a light at the end of the tunnel


Hello all :) today I am posting a progress update as I am on the road to life recovery.
It has been no secret that life has been pretty tough for the past year, with one string of bad luck after the other. My mood and general well being took a nose dive and I stopped taking pleasure in all of the things I usually enjoy.
This all progressed to a stage where I would be in floods of tears everyday for no reason at all and began to self harm.
Eventually after a string of arguments with Mr S and the realisation I hadn't been out with friends in over 8 months I decided to visit the doctors where I was diagnosed with serious chronic depression. I was referred into therapy and after a few weeks I reluctantly agreed to begin a course of anti depressents.
I am now 2 weeks in to my tablets and am pleased to announce that my mood is making a slow and steady recovery, and I am now in a position to begin to try and enjoy life again :) starting with getting my social life back on track!
I wanted to post today for a couple of reasons. Firstly because I've missed all of you lovely ladies, and secondly to note a couple of lessons I have learned since being diagnosed!
The main lesson is that depression is a real illness! This might sound silly but my view has always been that of my parents, depression is a state of mind which everyone is in control of, and can be dealt with on your own. This is the very reason it took me so long to see my GP. But the fact is that slipping in to depression is very real and very easy, so anyone who notices they are avoiding people and events consistently, is constantly being self critical and cant explain why they feel so angry/upset so much of the time visit your doctor.
The next lesson is that anti depressants are not something to be scared of. Like many people I'd only ever read side effects and horror stories about AD's. I refused my GP's first offer of AD's as I thought I'd be drugged out of my skull for the majority of time.
The truth is actually far from this. There are many types of AD available and my GP decided to prescribe a pill which slowly boosts my endorphines and makes me gradually feel more like a normal human! I haven't experienced any side effects and although the tablets haven't physically made me feel any different I have noticed my symptoms are gradually starting to improve.
The final lesson I've learnt is that I can overcome this :) and although it may take a while I know I can be strong!

8 comments:

Sophie - Chez Sophie said...

Hello Honey, glad your on the road to recovery. Well done for going to the Dr's, it can be a challenge.
Lots of Luv & Hugs Sophie xxx

LaaLaa said...

Oh Ness, I'm so glad that you're on the road to recovery. Look after YOU. xx

a mermaids purse said...

i totally feel for you x completely understand whereyour comming from- good for you for being honest and standing up to the inner deman of depression and how it makes youfeel. my mum and sister both battle through with anti- depressents- my mum said without them she wouldnt be here.

ive had some rotter years in the past- sometimes days without leaving a room- or seeing anyone-- i always get good days and bad all rolled in one...somehow ive managed withoutthe need of the anti depressents, but i think when life gets that bad seek help and get them through your GP cos its not something that easily goes away!

good for you chic!
big huggers xxxx

x kazzy x

Kathy said...

That's a big step in the right direction. too much to battle on with on your own ... well done. Sending lovexxx

dosierosie said...

I have been where you are now and have come out the other side. Some days can still be a struggle but on the whole my life is great now because I look at things differently. Don't be afraid to seek help, if your offered counselling then take it, it does help and makes you look what you want from life. Sent with loads of hugs and good wishes.
Gillx

ivana said...

Life has its ups and downs. good thing you went to see doc and agreed for therapy: I think it can't be the way of life but certainly is a motivation to start living life in all its fulness again.
Don't understand the misconceptions about depression: when you have a headache, you take a pill. But if you are depressed (meaning medically), most of us hesitate to do something thinking it will pass! But sometimes we need support because it is not that easy.
Glad you are here for it means it's going somehow for you :))

Florence and Mary said...

Well done for taking the steps to help yourself, you are sounding very positive,

Victoria xx

LissyLou said...

Hello you. so pleased you are getting help. I know how you feel. I have been on anti depresants for almost 3 years. They can do wonders once you get the right ones and correct dose (it does take a while) The thing that helped me the most though was Cognitive behavioural therepy. I think everyone should do it - its changed my life!!! if you can't get your gp to get you on a course, the cbt for dummies books are great!!! just make sure you do the tasks that they set. xx

 
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