Saturday, 25 June 2011

a light at the end of the tunnel

Hello all :) today I am posting a progress update as I am on the road to life recovery.
It has been no secret that life has been pretty tough for the past year, with one string of bad luck after the other. My mood and general well being took a nose dive and I stopped taking pleasure in all of the things I usually enjoy.
This all progressed to a stage where I would be in floods of tears everyday for no reason at all and began to self harm.
Eventually after a string of arguments with Mr S and the realisation I hadn't been out with friends in over 8 months I decided to visit the doctors where I was diagnosed with serious chronic depression. I was referred into therapy and after a few weeks I reluctantly agreed to begin a course of anti depressents.
I am now 2 weeks in to my tablets and am pleased to announce that my mood is making a slow and steady recovery, and I am now in a position to begin to try and enjoy life again :) starting with getting my social life back on track!
I wanted to post today for a couple of reasons. Firstly because I've missed all of you lovely ladies, and secondly to note a couple of lessons I have learned since being diagnosed!
The main lesson is that depression is a real illness! This might sound silly but my view has always been that of my parents, depression is a state of mind which everyone is in control of, and can be dealt with on your own. This is the very reason it took me so long to see my GP. But the fact is that slipping in to depression is very real and very easy, so anyone who notices they are avoiding people and events consistently, is constantly being self critical and cant explain why they feel so angry/upset so much of the time visit your doctor.
The next lesson is that anti depressants are not something to be scared of. Like many people I'd only ever read side effects and horror stories about AD's. I refused my GP's first offer of AD's as I thought I'd be drugged out of my skull for the majority of time.
The truth is actually far from this. There are many types of AD available and my GP decided to prescribe a pill which slowly boosts my endorphines and makes me gradually feel more like a normal human! I haven't experienced any side effects and although the tablets haven't physically made me feel any different I have noticed my symptoms are gradually starting to improve.
The final lesson I've learnt is that I can overcome this :) and although it may take a while I know I can be strong!

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